Dex. (they/them) Just graduated from JMU. 22 and taken. Always been the weird kid, but I own it. Pretty dorky. Music junkie. Rugger. All kindsa queer. Crazy. Chill. Hopeless romantic. Secretly a really huge softy.
My mom hugged me for several minutes and cried like I was dying. Neither of them understand.
But my dad told me it hurts him emotionally, but that he’s proud of me for doing what I need to do.
So better than expected.
Old guy: Did you come here with anyone, young lady?
Sami: (looks around a little bit, confused) Me? I'm with my friends... (points to me and Will.
Old guy: Oh just these two guys? You need to ditch them and come have breakfast with me. We don't allow pretty ladies like you to come in here with people.
Sami: Oh, well thank you...
Old guy walks away. We order our food and go sit down to eat.
He comes over to our table before he leaves.
Old guy: What are you doing? I told you you need to ditch those guys?
Sami: Yeah... We're just hanging out and having breakfast...
Old guy: (stares at me for a while) Take your hat off.
Me: (takes hat off and stares right back)
Old guy: You a girl?
Old guy: You sure? You look like you could be a lady. You look like a lady with all them piercings.
Me: I think my dad would disagree with you on that.
He then proceeded to tell us random stories about when he was in the army, shook Will and my hands and made Sami give him a hug before he would leave. Never getting breakfast there again.
I am now legally Dexter Valentine!!!
I DID MY PAPERWORKKKKKKK
Okay guys, I realize that the HRC isn’t perfect, but they are the major player in getting LGBTQ equality. It’s not something that’s going to happen overnight, and it’s not going to cover everyone right away, but why are you going to shit talk the group who has actually played a big part in making progress in the first point? That’s like saying, “Oh, if I can’t get an A on this test, why should I try at all? I’ll just say its all crap.” ITS STILL PROGRESS. ITS STILL A STEP FORWARD. STOP ACTING LIKE ITS NOT WORTH ANYTHING.
Dysphoria day! Mostly internal conflicts though. I think half the problem is that I feel like I’m being pushed so hard either one way or the other by everyone. I have to be closer to one side of the spectrum than the other. But I really don’t feel like I am. It just gets exhausting trying to fight all of that off everyday from everyone I interact with.
I want to keep my boobs. I like when my girlfriend plays with them and everything. I really do. But I don’t want to be a girl. I’m not a girl. I don’t have a problem with my naked body, but rather, the way clothes fit me. None of them really seem right.
I wish it didn’t matter so much. I wish I could have just a single day where these worries didn’t cross my mind. It would be a relief.
Just sucked it up enough to make a post about wanting they/them pronouns on facebook.
That was scary.
But I feel accomplished.
I’m starting gender therapy on Monday.
I’m not entirely sure what I’m expecting to get out of it yet. Maybe just some real confidence and a way to feel comfortable in my own skin, one way or another? My dysphoria has gotten much worse lately and it’s extremely disorienting. I feel like crying every time I look in the mirror or look down at my body. I don’t know exactly what I want. I feel so lost. I feel like I never manage to pass at all anymore.
I think I’m starting to sink back into depression because of all this. It’s putting me in a bad place. I’m trying to keep myself going and engaged, but it’s getting harder to get out of bed every day. Help.
Props to all those girls who identify as lesbians but will still date an FtM guy or GQ folks. Thank you for struggling with us and being supportive. I never realized how trying it can be on you and your own identity before. I sincerely appreciate it.
a grateful GQ person
I’ve realized that 99% of the time that I have dysphoria, it’s because men’s clothes don’t fit me the way I want them to because of my breasts. My chest is too big for them to lay right.
I don’t have any problem with my naked body, I just wish I could pass as male in public more often/easily.
Am I the only one who feels like this? Cuz it sure as hell seems like it.
Anyone know any really good resources for learning about non-binary people? I just came out to my mom and I wanna help her be able to understand better.